LDR.

i miss my darling tonight. a lot. more than i have in a long time (maybe a few days to be exact..).
oh long distance relationships, why must you torture me so.
but it's what you gotta do when you LOVE someone. and it's totally worth it. xoxo. <3

a poem by mary frye.

Found this poem the other day. It's a little sad, but it's also very beautiful too. I love how it takes you so far away from reality. Imagery is so wonderful. :) 

"Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush.

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die."

I decided I'm going to try to write in my blog a little something each day. If I have time. Which I probably won't. But I'll try my best. So here goes...

Found this on a website - thought it was adorable,, and so true. 

Awesome Thing # 356: Wearing your boyfriend’s sweatshirt

"Ripped sleeves, tattered collars, and faded prints tossed in crumpled piles on the floor hold meaningful memories of tender touches. Twisting on the couch for a movie, stirring over the stove at dinner, or napping together in the park … all come together to fan the flames of your heart.

Tossing on your boyfriend’s baggy sweatshirt feels like you’re giving them a hug.

Close your eyes and smell the love.

AWESOME!"

Yay for hoodies! <3 

Happy Sigh.

This song has been stuck in my head all day long. And no wonder. 
It's all about L-O-V-E. 
I've been thinking about how much I really want to slow dance with *someone* to it. 
That would be absolutely perfect. (:
Just sayin'. 

:/

this is why i have a really difficult time riding in small, self-piloted airplanes. . .

http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/26283066/30243876

A War For My Soul.

Holding tightly to my past,
Overwhelmed - the tension thick.
My hands burn from this death grasp;
The ground has disappeared beneath my feet.

Fear has frozen me in place.
A chill wind blows, crawling up my spine,
It's deadly fingers caress my face.
I shiver inside - overtaken by lies.

Yet as gradual as the tide, rising up the shore;
A Heavenly presence surrounds me.
His soft breath warms me to the core.
Hesitantly, I begin to hope.

"Let go, my child, of your many fears,
Give me control - fall into my arms.
I promise to wipe away your tears,
To be your comfort and your strength."

The constant battle wages, turmoil raises, I continue to wait.
He is so patient, urging me to take this leap, to finally be free.
So with a deep breath, I choose to take this mighty step of faith.
Letting go of the fear, the lies, the past.

Free-falling, through the clouds;
Sunshine streams into my eyes,
Filled with joy, for once, not doubt.
And then I'm resting in His arms.

Alive and unharmed.


written by: me! (on the LT retreat) 

A Day of Togetherness Alone with God

Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out out anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
Psalm 139:16 "..Every day of my life was recorded in your book; every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."

What a week it has been! Though you probably know, LT has started, and my goodness, it's been incredible. I've heard some wonderful talks, praised God in some heart-breaking worship, and had conversations with people I had never been able to get to know before.
Right now, I have about an hour left of the 9 hours we had of fasting, praying and spending with our Savior. I thought I'd take the time to type out some of my prayers and attempt to summarize my thoughts.

This is a prayer from Day 1 of LT:

God, Daddy, My Love,

I confess that this past month I've struggled in a lot of different ways. I've had to learn to depend solely on you. You have been my friend when I was lonely. But despite this, I've still felt worn down and "far" from you. I've made some disastrous errors already this summer. and I'm so sorry. I've learned that you have forgiven me with your grace. The thing I have trouble with is forgiving myself.
I want to embark on a journey with you. Let me on a whole new path - one I can't even imagine. You've brought me through so much and given me so much that I don't deserve. I want to show you love, I want to be crazy excited about you. I want to make a difference for you. I want to spread your love.
You are so overpowering. As I sit here, listening to the quiet breeze, the trees rustling, the birds chirping - I am astounded by your majesty and am in utter awe. You are so beautiful - I long to just reach out and grab hold of your hand and have you pull me into your arms and hear you whisper to me, "You are precious to me, I love you" (Isaiah 43:4). I yearn for the day of no more sorrow. What a glorious day that will be. All I want is you, Jesus. I am completely in bliss - at peace with you and myself and the world around me. I feel no evil presence lurking over me. Just you and me, all alone together. Beauty. In. Complexity. Yes, those words perfectly describe you. Imagine when a life like this will never end. It will go on Forever. Oh how wonderful you are, my Love, never let me go. <3


Prayer from Day 3 of LT:

Lord,

You know how I've been on an emotional roller-coaster today.
You know how yesterday I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open.
You know that I cried at the bonfire because I wanted a certain someone to hold me close.
You know that it's been hard for me to fight the despair of Satan.
You know that I've been feeling guilty for missing John (as though it was a sin to miss him).
You know how much I want You to be in my life.
You know how much I want to do the "right" thing.
You know how much I'm trying to trust you with my entire life. (all the decisions, relationships, emotions, etc)
You know that I am struggling with realizing it's okay to feel down or unhappy or unsocial.
You already know everything. You have it all laid out for me. I just need to let go of my control over my own life and entrust it to you. I don't want to put you in a box and try to take over myself. I can't do anything without you. So here I am, Lord, take all of me.

My unprecedented step(s) of faith!

I want to stop trying to control my life.
I want to learn to trust God with my worst fear. (that I will lose someone I care about)
I want God to be in charge.
I want God to control my mind. (the anxiety, worry, temptations, self-consciousness, overwhelming emotions) 
I want God to give me peace to concentrate on Him. 
I want to believe that God has amazing things planned for me, and that I can expect great blessings from Him.
I want to DO something that shares God's light with others.


That's all I have time for right now. I'll update more later! Love you! <3

LOVE THIS SONG!!!